If I Could Be a Superhero

Posted on 23. Oct, 2014 by in Just for Fun

I recently went around and took random samples of Butler students and asked them: “If you could be any superhero, who would you want to be?” This is a simple enough question, but let us take a look at the answers and what they really mean.

 

Steven_Rogers_(Earth-1610)

First up is Captain America. Many students said they would like to be the “Star-Spanggled Man With the Plan.” This is an incredibly admirable hero to choose, but how xenophobic of us American students to choose the hero that literally wears our flag. Plus, if you’re Captain America, you have to live in the 1940’s where there is no wi-fi… And you also get frozen for near 70 years. That’s going to be cold, folks.

iron man concept art artwork marvel comics mark iv 2664x3760 wallpaper_www.wallmay.com_7

A great many students also said they would like to be Iron Man. This makes sense, right? I mean who WOULDN’T want to be an alcoholic with daddy issues that has pieces of shrapnel inching its way near your heart, trying to kill you with every waking second? But hey, at least you’re a multi-billionaire!

batman-75-brjpg-8dd4bd_1280w

Evidently, money IS an important factor to students, as the next hero many wish to be was none other than the Caped Crusader himself: Batman. While, yes, it would be cool to have as many gadgets as one could think of (like Shark-repellent), being Batman means one must live a life of inner turmoil and anguish. Your parents have to be killed in front of you as well… might be best to pick another superhero.

Supermancolor_final

What superhero survey would be complete without Superman coming up? Students still want to be the Man of Steel, even 76 years after Action Comics #1 was released. Invincible, flight, ice breath, x-ray vision, heat vision… Superman’s powers are endless, so it is only natural that the common person would want to be like him. Plus, the only thing that can kill you is chunk of your dead home planet, that drifts around in space. The downside to being Superman is that no matter how hard Hollywood tries, they’ll never be able to do you justice.

250px-ST1

The underdog of this survey was one of my personal favorite superheroes: Star-Lord. Yes, it appears that the movies DO indeed influence public opinion. Had I done this survey six months ago, not a single person I asked would know who Star-Lord was, but now thanks to the success of the Guardians of the Galaxy movie he is a culture-wide phenomenon. I know you’re thinking “what’s that a picture of?” Folks, all these heroes did indeed star in comic books before getting a big screen adaptation. But no matter how it came to be, people want to be Star-Lord! Of course this means that your mother must be murdered by aliens and you have to devote your life to science and astronomy in order to go seek justice, then be picked by a weird space angel. (That’s how his origin actually goes, I’m not making it up.)

Of course there were other answers — such as Spider-Man. The problem with students wanting to be Spider-Man is that would mean they would have to be smart-ass teenagers that complain too much. So essentially that would mean being annoying and having the ability to climb a wall, and for that reason Spider-Man doesn’t get a picture above.

It does disturb me though, that even though I asked men and women students what superhero they wanted to be, I only got male answers. People, there are many a great female superheroes out there! For instance: Captain Marvel, Wonder Woman, Gamora, Hawkgirl, Black Canary, Power Girl, and many others. Familiarize yourselves with them, people!

Last but not least,  I did not want to limit this survey to just students, so I asked a non-student I figured would give us an interesting answer. I asked Trip who he would want to be; little did I know that Trip has a passion for comic books and knows a thing or two! Trip told me he wishes to be Lockjaw, the Inhuman dog that can teleport and communicate with his “owner” Black Bolt. Just check out the resemblance!

Screen Shot 2014-09-30 at 2.16.46 PMLockjaw_(Earth-616)_from_Avengers_A.I._Vol_1_7.INH_001

Well Butler, there you have it. This is who the majority of you would like to be were you gifted with super powers! But remember, it doesn’t take superpowers to do good like the aforementioned characters – just go out and do something super!

About Quinn Hurley

Quinn Hurley is a first year student who enjoys things such as the Constitution, Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches, Punk Rock, all things animals, and Coen Brothers' Films. He is majoring in English Literature. His future plans are to write comic books and screenplays, eventually winning multiple Oscars for writing and directing. Quinn hails from Muncie, Indiana where he inspired tens of people to be a better person. His favorite quote is "Fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face."

Comments are closed.